Words of Wisdom from Winnie the Pooh

Not feeling heard is a common frustration in the workplace.  Taking time to listen.... to really listen is a gift you give to others.

How many times have you been in an important conversation and not feeling heard is getting in the way of resolution?  Instead of feeling frustrated, consider this perspective... just for a moment.:

If you are talking to someone and they are not listening, be patient. Maybe he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.” Winnie-the-pooh.  

 Isn’t this a great reminder of the importance in being patient in our conversations with others?  As a consultant facilitating teams through dialogue and team building processes, I often see the challenges in communication, one being listening and another being patience.  

Our world is often a “results now” environment, and communication does not necessarily work at the speed of light.   

For effective dialogue and building mutual understanding, we must take time to listen, and ask the right questions. 

Here are a few tips to build patience in communication:

1.   Be interested in the process (the communication itself), not just the outcome 
2.   Every time you find yourself jumping to a solution in your head, ask another question.  The best questions are those that are open ended (begin with ‘who, what, where, when, why and how’). 
3.   Implement the three second rule - wait three seconds before responding. 
4.   If you are not clear on what has been said, ask a question to clarify instead of making an assumption. Assumptions are typically incorrect.

·         Consider this- listening is a gift you give to the other person, and it is often reciprocated back to you. In the conflict resolution, communication and team building presentations that I deliver, listening is one of the foundational skill sets we discuss. Removing judgements, assumptions and blame can improve your dialogues in these three ways:

• more engagement and participation of the other person
• keeps the conversation forward moving and on track
• listening expands and so do the options for resolution 
  

Decisions, Decisions!

What would you do?  How would you handle this?  Would you say yes?  Do you think this will move us to success faster?
These are questions I get a lot from my clients.  Of course, the answers vary depending on each company's situation, circumstances, and staffing.  Personalities and corporate culture also play a role in this process.  So, to try and make the decision making process a bit easier, here are five questions to help you in your business decision making process:

1. Does this serve me well/does it further my goal?   If the action you are considering is not related to your goals or does not serve you well, reflect on why you are even considering it.  What is driving you to consider this action?  What are the potential results of saying yes? No?  Usually if it doesn't serve you well and is not in alignment with your goals, it is not a course of action to choose.
2. Does this generate revenue?  Keeping the business plan and profit in mind is essential to business and team success.  Finances and profit must be part of the business decision equation.  Sometimes your choices and actions will produce revenue directly, and sometimes it will be more indirectly.  However, prioritize with those decisions that put money in the bank first.
3. Is it in line with our vision, values and strategic plan?  Double check your decisions, options and actions against your company and team vision, values, and strategic plan.  Is the decision and actions congruent to the vision and values?  Will your decision support the strategic plan or further it along?
4. Who else do I need to include/ASK or engage?  Who else needs to be engaged for input, advise or decision making?  What questions do you need to ask and what research must be completed?  Who do you need to bring along with you?
5. Is there another way to accomplish this (and if yes, what is it?)?  There are often many routes to the end goal.  Some more complicated than others.  When you are evaluating your choices, consider if there is a more direct, faster, smarter or cost effective way to accomplish your end goals.

Carefully considering important decisions can positively impact your end results.

Sometimes the Way We Look at the Problem, IS The Problem

Another way to think about stress is through the outcomes you
experience in your life. For example, the quality of your relationships, your
satisfaction with a job, your current level of health and stress, and your
financial situation are all a result of how you have responded to situations,
events, and circumstances that have come up in your life.

You might be thinking: “There are lots of things that come up in life that
I have absolutely no control over.” And you are absolutely right! There are
many situations that go on in the workplace that you cannot control or
influence. In fact, there are events that arise in life that are completely out
of your control. It is important is to spend your energy, skills and time
focusing on what is within your ability to control or at least influence.

I discovered many years ago when I was a Correctional Officer that
sometimes the way people view a situation or event is actually the problem.
When you can change how you look at the event or view it through a
different lenses, sometimes the issue doesn’t seem so bad.

“Why is it that people always put their energy into the things that drives
them crazy…stuff that is completely out of their control?” asked a client
during a team building consultation.
“Tell me more about that. What do you mean?” I asked Joe, the team
lead. Joe had been with his company for 15 years, and according to him
he “had seen it all, and done it all.”

“Well, I have noticed that our staff meetings often go off on a different
tangent. It seems innocent at first but then I see the team’s energy
focusing on what they can’t change, such as company policy, the available
budget, and the current economic climate in the world. People get pretty
hot under the collar and it can be tough to bring them back to the rea
l world…our business.”

“Great question Joe, one that would be useful to explore when we meet
with the team. What’s your take on it, though?” I asked. Joe really
seemed to have his finger on the pulse of his team and had a vested
interest in building a resilient and inspired team.

Thinking for a few minutes, Joe responded, “Maybe when people focus
on what they can’t control they can assign blame, or look to who ‘should’
be responsible, instead of what they can actually influence or fix
themselves.”

“Interesting. So I wonder what gets in the way of the team having
THAT discussion.”

These two questions were soon a facilitated discussion that led to an
incredible team building process. The questions were: Why do team
members put energy into what is not within their direct control and?
And what is it that we can actually control or influence, and could we
explore putting our energy there instead? As the team explored looking

through a different set of eyes, they discovered that when they focused
only on the negative or what seemed broken the situation was far worse
than it was in reality. When the team focused on what was in their
control, they looked at that same event very differently, and focused
on solutions!


Excerpt from Charmaine Hammond’s Bounce Forward Book.

To read more about this topic, follow the blog, or you can order a copy of
Bounce Forward (the book or the soon to be released audio book) by
emailing chris.alcock@hammondgroup.biz for your signed copy.

Think Back to Move Forward

Do you remember, as a child, going into a restaurant that had the placemats with activities on them?  The mazes always seemed so hard to find your way out of.  Unless, you started at the finish and worked backwards toward the start.  For some reason that made it easier to figure out.  Sometimes the plan begins with the end too.
Far too often teams and individuals begin the planning process not having the end in mind.  A plan begins with a clear objective.  Think of it this way...what's the end result, the desired outcome you would like to see?  Then, work backwards.
Ken Kragen, the Creator of "We Are The World", and "Hands Across America", is also my business coach.  He wrote a phenomenal book titled Life is a Contact Sport.  In his book he talks about the power of thinking backwards from your goal to create the road map to follow.  This process helps you pinpoint every step, necessary action and person you need to connect with.  Ken also says it will help you in figuring out who the gatekeepers are; the people you need to get a "yes" from.  He also stresses the importance of really understanding the goal before you begin generating solutions.
I have utilized this process in many of the strategic planning and team building processes I have facilitated for my corporate clients.  The process of working backwards has been especially useful in identifying the time required for specific tasks and then setting deadlines and time lines from there.
Based on Ken's teaching, ask yourself or your team these questions in your next planning process:

• What is the desired outcome (or, what is the end result we envision?  What problem are we solving?)
• Before we get there, what do we need to happen?
• What permissions are required?
• Who do we need to connect with to get the permission?
• What gatekeepers do we need to speak with in order to get the permission?
• Continue to repeat process until the plan is formed.

Begin with the end to get to the finish faster!