Words that Move You to ACTION

Recently I was watching television and caught the tail end of a powerful statement, I wish I knew who to credit for his/her brilliance. The statement was  “Settle the past. Engage the present and believe in the future.”

WOW. What an insight.   

I flew out of my chair to find a pen. 

Throughout the evening I found myself reflecting on this statement and the power of the words which moved me to action. To bounce forward, that is to be resilient, you must be able to settle the past, be engaged in the present and have belief in the future. That doesn’t however mean this is a simple task.

For many years in an earlier career I was a Correctional Officer (yup that’s right! A Correctional Officer), and I remember thinking how many inmates (even some staff) were plagued by their past, struggling in their present and had no belief in their future. Years later as a mediator, I often mediated situations of family conflict, and the past always came up. Instead of being engaged in the present, many were still both feet in the past. Because of this, it was difficult for them to believe in the future. As a former mediator in workplace situations I saw this same challenge, people championing the problems of the past causing them to disengage and be present.

Here are some simple tips to Settle the Past:

-       Listen to your story. Everyone has stories of the past that come up in conversation. When you tell the story, are you “detached” from it, or do you find yourself with both feet back in the moment? A good way to tell is your emotional state when you tell the story. And, pay attention to these stories that run through your thoughts. The great news is that you can change your story. 

-       Decide to forgive. Look at the situations, disappointments and unresolved issues that are weighing you down. You may not be able to fix or resolve the past, it has already happened, but, you can forgive or resolve for the future. And, forgive yourself for mistakes you have made that you continue to self blame.

-       Give up blaming. Blaming seems to increase the emotional state and can certainly damage relationships. Look at what is within your control to fix and what is not, and put your attention and action on what you can control.

-       Reframe and change your language. Instead of saying “I regret not making things right with my supervisor” say “I look forward to righting situations and conflicts if they arise”.

What do you need to settle from the past to move forward?

Hope to stay in touch with you on Facebook:

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http://www.linkedin.com/in/charmainehammond

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Defining Moments, AH HAs and Turning Points in Business

What are the turning points in your life? Business? Team?

How did these defining moments change your life?

What was the connection between the turning point and getting clear on what you value?

Athena Katsaros is a Leadership Coach who is passionate about helping people use all their gifts, skills and talents. Her website is http://www.ideatribe.com/

And, she was my guest on one of my recent radio shows Conversations with Charmaine  - 
She talked about the wake up moments or defining moments that change us and take us on a different path in life. Her life changed dramatically when in 2001 when Athena discovered she was content in her marketing business, but not really happy. She went through a number of courses and coaching programs and learned about creating work that you love, and to be paid well for doing what you love. She created a three month program for women who lost their husband in 911. She leaned to be a coach- and saw first hand the transformation that occurred for these women as they came together and formed a community as they worked through their grieving process.  Through this defining moment, Athena discovered that having the life you love involves a few things:

1) Identify what is most fulfilling for you.

2) Values- identify what is most important for you then the values will drive your decisions and actions

3) Be crystal clear on your values as they drive the micro decisions.  She asked a great question... how do your start you morning.  Are you rushed and choking down your  breakfast on the way out the door, or are you grounded and taking time to enjoy time with family or time for you before heading out the door.  When you are clear on your values, you live life differently.


You can learn more about our conversations by listening to:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/charmainehammond/2012/06/13/guests-richard-schultz-and-athena-katsaros

Barriers to Authors Bouncing Forward

If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison.  And then, once the book is written, the work REALLY begins! And, once you write it, you must get it out to the world! We live in a digital world, and it is imperative that business owners, leaders and authors be savvy about doing business in a digital world.


Since our first book was released, On Toby's Terms, in 2010, I have met many authors from all over the world, and I frequently hear them talking about having too much to juggle, being tired, and overwhelmed.  When I have showed this photo of our dog Toby, many people have said "I can so relate that!" or "That is exactly how I feel at the end of my work day" or "He looks like I feel!".

Since I created Your Book as a Business and systematized everything I do in my book business, and our speaking and training business, life has become MUCH easier!  Less stress, more energy, most effective use of time, and, way more fun!  Take a few moments to think about how you can create more systems in your daily (personal and professional life).


Recently, Karen Henrich was my guest on my Your Book As a Business radio show. Karen is an author and the publisher of TapBooks Publishing, helping authors to bring their content to life in the form of ebooks + apps. Henrich's guidebook, Practical Paris, has been a top seller on Amazon consistently since Feb. 2011. Her favorite place to write is in Parisian cafés, in the very same establishments formerly frequented by the likes of Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein and other illustrious writers past. See TapBooks titles by visiting Amazon.com and type 'tapbooks' in the search bar.

To listen to the full show and Karen’s incredible insights and business tips for your book, visit: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/your-book-as-a-business/2012/06/02/guest-karen-henrich


Karen talked about the importance of becoming Internet savvy because if you have written a book, you are in the world of Internet marketing and business. For many this is a BIG learning curve, and can absolutely get in the way of bouncing back.  Karen suggested some great tips (you can listen here) http://www.blogtalkradio.com/your-book-as-a-business/2012/06/02/guest-karen-henrich


Here's a few tips for authors, actually these tips apply to anyone in business or working for a living:

- schedule down time for yourself everyday
- focus your learning on what you need to know, not everything that would be nice to know
- become savvy with the technology that you are required to use
- set daily priorities and schedule your time (I often use a timer otherwise time just slips by me)
- take breaks to refresh and re-energize throughout the day
- set reasonable and attainable goals
- have a weekly completion day where you schedule time to complete projects and tasks that are half done
- find time saving activities. For example, we send a lot of handwritten thank you cards (usually 5-10 per week). I purchase thank you cards in bulk so I have a selection to choose from rather than making more errands for myself than necessary.
- I use Dragon naturally Speaking voice recognition software (love this program!!)

To find out more visit Karen at: http://www.tapbookspublishing.com/online-press-kit/social-media-links

            
 Other Products I love that can help save time:        


For more information about host Charmaine Hammond: http://www.howtosellandmarketyourbook/

Can Leaders Really Balance it All?

There’s that age old saying “you can’t have your cake and eat it too” and I am finding that in business, we have been able to have our cake and eat it too. The last few years in business have been extremely exciting for us.  It has involved some huge learning curves, some hard work but nonetheless has been fun, interesting and full of times when we could have the cake and eat it too. 

When I asked business owner, Sandra Yancey, the CEO of eWomenNetwork, a global organization, if leaders can really balance it all, we had an interesting discussion.  Sandra talked so eloquently about the importance of choosing what leaders and business owners focus on. This resonated for me because I often say in my presentations and seminars that the thoughts you choose are so important, because they frame everything (how you communicate to others, how you show up and the results you experience).  Sandra gave an example of a recent 30 city tour… This type of tour can be exhausting because of the travel however, Sandra pointed out that when you focus not on the exhaustion but on the passion (the reason she was visiting the 30 cities on the tour), you are rewarded with energy and great experiences. What you focus on really does matter. 

We talked about balance…how she balances running a global company, numerous philanthropic projects, writing books, having a family, and having a life.  Sandra provided what works for her:

-       Behind the scenes is when you can take time to refresh, kick back, and regain our energy. Take time for you!

-       Carefully choose what you focus on, and the people you associate with.
-       Know that you can’t do it all alone- build a support system, ask for help, and learn from those who have been there

-       When you love what you do it is easy to lose time, make sure you take time to be away from the business.

These tips fit in great to my philosophy on Bouncing Forward. 

Balance expert, JJ DiGeronimo states that we have to find ways to recycle our time and manage against the unknowns. JJ gave a great example whereby life happens…we’ve all been there. Challenges crop up throughout the day and then we are left wondering where the day went. She uses several systems to help her recycle time. Planning is a big part but she also stated that learning to say “no”, ensuring you are not over committing yourself, asking for help, delegating and setting reasonable expectations for yourself.  Most importantly, JJ suggests that each of us take time to enjoy the life you have created.  JJ is the author of the Working Woman’s GPS-when the plan to have it all leads you astray. 

You can hear more tips from these two phenomenal leaders at:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/charmainehammond

You can find out more about JJ and her book at http://www.purposefulwoman.com/

                           Sandra Yancey's book

Sandra Yancey’s new book Succeeding In Spite of Everything, comes out this summer.  

The Do Over

I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Dr. Mike on The SPAA (Speak For Yourself) show and we had a great conversation about Courageous Dialogue and Bouncing Forward.

Dr.  Mike asked a great question about how to communicate without getting defensive and how to handle a conversation you are not happy with after the fact. I explained these types of situations are perfect for The “Do Over” (in my presentations I refer to this as the Mulligan). When you are not happy with how your words landed with the other person, you can do a “do over.” Simply be honest and integral and own what you said then let the person know that you would like to make another attempt or to express what you wished you had said first time round. In my experience, I have found that the other person appreciates your integrity, and listens to your reframed statement. Recently I had the chance to do a mulligan; I was not feeling great about how something had landed with a family member. I took opportunity to do a “do over”, the family member didn’t recall the conversation I was referring to (it was not an issue for that person), however, I felt much better after reframing the conversation.  It reminds me of that quote “people will not remember what you said but will remember how you made them feel.”

On the show I also talked about the delicate balance between avoiding the conversations that matter most, and not coming across to reactionary or combative in the dialogue. A few tips to avoiding a reaction are to: breathe and count to three (in your head) before stating your response, slow the speed of your voice slightly, be curious, and ask questions…open ended questions. These begin with who, what, where, when, why and how.

Next time you say something that didn’t land right, remember you can do a mulligan, a do over.

To find out more about this, you can check out my Bounce Forward book (www.hammondgroup.biz) and to hear the interview, visit http://www.thespaa.org.