Adequate Team Effort

The other evening Tabitha Takes Over came on the television.  What caught my attention about this episode was the business owner's expression of exhaustion and lack of passion.  It drew me to the TV to listen.  The owner of the salon looked exhausted, worn down and defeated.  It was clear she had given up on her business.  It was also clear that her team had given up on the business as well, and, they had also given up on her.  As Tabitha went about her masterful Takeover process she expressed shock at the degree of complacency that had developed in this business and the team.  Not only had the team given up but they had adopted the mindset of settling for low to no standards on cleanliness, reputation (their own included), and customer service.
What disturbed me the most was what happened at the renovation and on the subsequent "reveal day".  During the renovations the team collaborated to do a spring cleaning on the salon.  When Tabitha pointed out the filth in the salon and at their workstations each staff member blamed someone else on the team and the owner.  No one took ownership or responsibility for their work area and said things like, "Not my job!" and, "Why should I have to help clean this place?".  WOW!  Then, after Tabitha's team remodeled the business and gave it an extreme makeover inside and out, aside from the owner, there was not one smile.  They walked through their newly renovated, spotless and modernized salon with no enthusiasm.  They appeared to completely lack interest in all the effort and upgrades that were completed, in part, for their benefit.  Immediately the team members began making comments about everything they did not like.  "I think there are too many colours" and "I wouldn't have picked this type of chair" or "They should have chosen new toys for the waiting area, kids won't like these" were the only things they could find to say.
To bring the team back to a more healthy level of performance, and to stop the complacency, the following steps were implemented to help raise energy and passion:

• A policy manual and procedural expectations were set and documented.  Staff were advised that these must be adhered to.
• The team was held accountable to the new standards.
• The owner was also held accountable to uphold the standards.
• Training and coaching were made available to the team.
• The owner was more present and spent more time in the business

If your team is struggling and has become complacent, revisit the tips that Tabitha offers.  Ensure people know their roles and the roles of others.  Ensure that issues are addressed and dealt with immediately.  Don't allow them to build and grow complacent with them.

Shifting Forward....



My colleague, Beverly Flaxington, is an amazing author, an accomplished consultant, a hypnotherapist and a personal and career coach, and all around amazing person. She has a new book that just came out that I want to share with you. I met Bev through the Evolutionary Business Council and was very much inspired by the work she is doing with corporations to help them with the many different facets of issues that they face and to help them communicate more effectively.



Bev stated that her professional career has been devoted to trying to figure out ways to help people move to higher levels of effectiveness. She has been a corporate consultant for 17 years. An Executive Coach but then, along with that she had a hypnotherapy practice. She went and got certified as a behavioural expert and used tools to help people understand what will help them move forward and move to the next level.



Bev created a process that she called SHIFT and trademarked it because it’s got 5 specific steps. Her new book is called Make Your Shift – The 5 most powerful moves you can make to get where you want to go. So, what Bev did was take everything she learned over the last 20 + years working with individuals, personally and professionally, and seeing, those places where people tend to get stuck and what’s that information that we need that helps us to move to the next level. It’s a process that Bev has seen work over and over again.



As Bev indicated in an interview I had with her, these are busy times. She added “We have our personal lives, our business lives; we’re all very well intentioned. They start the morning thinking this is what I’m going to accomplish today but then, somebody will get to the end of the day, the end of the week, the end of the year and they will say that they didn’t do half the things done that they wanted to do. So, I just felt that I need to give people a way to break through this so they don’t have to change their life, you know, do things so differently, but in the midst of what they’re already doing they can figure out ways to move something that matters to them forward”.



Bev advised that change is part of the shift process. People often say things like “I’m just going to make this change”, or “We’re just going to mandate this”, or “We’re just going to put this in place” . But, as Bev indicates, there are always some obstacles, there’s something that gets in our way and makes it more difficult for us to do, and again, no matter how good intentioned we are. Bev reminds us to look at the human element.



One other topic that I’m really enjoying reading about in Bev’s book is the importance of developing criteria when you’re doing brainstorming or when engaged in idea generation activities. how businesses really need to focus more on criteria and understanding the problem better so that the solutions just start to unfold and your book really said that very clearly.

This is a great book to help you move forward and make the changes to take you where YOU want to go.

Bev’s corporate website is www.b-collaborative.com and her website http://www.understandingotherpeople.com/.

To add this book to your corporate library, and reading list, visit:






--

Cutting off the Rut

The other evening Tabitha Takes Over was on, and I caught the business owner’s expression of exhaustion and lack of passion. It drew me to the TV to listen. The owner of a salon looked exhausted, worn down and defeated. It was clear she had given up on her business, and, her team had given up on her...and the business. As Tabitha went about her masterful Takeover process, she expressed shock at the degree of complacency that had developed in this business and team. Not only had the team given up, they had become complacent, settling for low to no standards on cleanliest, reputation (their own included), and customer service.

What disturbed me the most was what happened at the renovation and the subsequent “reveal day”. During the renovations the team collaborated to do a spring cleaning on the salon. When Tabitha pointed out the filth in the salon and their workstations, each staff blamed someone else on the team and the owner. No one took any ownership or responsibility for their work area and said things like “not my job!” and “why should I have to help clean this place?”. WOW! And then, after Tabitha’s team remodelled the business and gave it an extreme makeover inside and out, there was not one smile, other than from the owner. They walked through their newly renovated, spotless and modernized salon with no enthusiasm, and what looked like a lack of interest. Immediately the team members commented on all they did not like “I think there are too many colours” and “I wouldn’t have picked this type of chair” or “they should have chosen new toys for the waiting area, kids won’t like these.”

To bring the team back to a more healthy level of performance and to stop the complacency, the following steps help raise the energy and passion:

-          A policy manual and procedural expectations were set, documented and staff were advised that these must be adhered to

-          The team was held accountable to the new standards

-          The owner was also held accountable to uphold the standards

-          Training and coaching was made available for the team

-          The owner was more present, spent more time in the business

If your team is struggling and has become complacent, revisit the tips that Tabitha offers. Ensure people know their roles, and the roles of others, and ensure that issues are addressed and dealt with immediately. Don’t allow them to build, and grow complacency with them.

The Kindness Makeover

In an earlier blog I referenced some of the learnings from Ed Horrell's book, The Kindness Revolution. A quote that he stated that really resonated with me was “Don’t fight…Make it Right!”

From a conflict resolution and leadership perspective, this is such an important belief to helping people move beyond the problem and blame to solutions, forgiveness and change.

In 2007 I had the pleasure of working on a Community Expo project, a massive community event which included a conference, trade show, workshops and more. One of my responsibilities was the Kindness Booth. I worked with the Kindness Crew, an amazing team of four young men who were on a mission to bring more kindness to the world. They did a phenomenal presentation, and left the audience with many thoughts about kindness.  At my Kindness Booth, I had many "supplies" to help people create their own random acts of kindness.  With a team of initially reluctant teenagers, our community kindness revolution began. Flower shops had donated flowers, local gift stores donated some chocolates, we had cards and blank paper and envelopes, many printed kindness products from various kindness websites such as the Random Act of Kindness Foundation (book marks, stickers, door plaques, quotes, colouring pages), and many other supplies.  In a couple of hours there was nothing left.  The once reluctant teens came running back saying things like "Charmaine. We are out of flowers. People are loving us being so kind. They are being kind to others. One lady's flower was passed forward to so many people we lost count. This is AWESOME!"  One year later when I was struggling to carry a box of workshop materials into a local college, A young man helped me and said "Here. This is for you!" It was a pay it forward card I had handed out at the booth (it had the date of the event and event logo on it so I knew for sure). With tears in my eyes I asked "were you there? At this event?" He said "No" I got it from a stranger in a coffee shop a couple of months ago. I was having a tough day."  WOW! Who knows how many people had held this kindness card in their hand, and many acts of kindness had originated from one simple little card, and an act of unconditional kindness!

Ed Horrell talks about the importance of removing reluctance and indifference to spread kindness.  He suggests that the ways to eliminate indifference are:

- Use your customer’s name in the conversation and ensure staff do not call them “hun”, “sweetie”, “buddy”, “my dear”, etc.

- Eye contact

- Find out what is important to the customer

- Active listening

- Non defensive behavior

- If you see a problem, fix it

- Cleanliness reflects care


If you want to give your team and company and Extreme Corporate Makeover, Horrell suggests a few powerful first steps:

- Survey your customers

- Prepare to do what your customers want

- Focus group to plan the changes and how to implement the changes

- Develop a customer credo (e.g. the Ritz Carlton’s is “Ladies and Gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen")

- Talk about customer service every day

- Review customer service objectives

- Put your standards out there for others to see. Some of my clients have posted and framed them in their waiting room or by the front door.

- Make your motto and credo a promise and part of your staff’s uniform or what they bring to work everyday

And of course, Practice kindness in every conversation and contact.  What can you do today to create a ripple effect of kindness in your team?

I am so excited to unveil our February 2012 Kindness Initiative.  During Kindness week, we'll reveal the details! 

To learn more about Ed Horrell's Kindness Revolution, follow:

Bringing Kindness to Work

The Kindness Revolution Book Review


One observation I can offer about workplaces is that when the going gets tough, times get busier, and conflict is causing challenges, kindness goes out the window!  As a trainer and facilitator you might not believe what I have heard and witnessed in workplaces. I have seen some incredible acts of respect, compassion and enthusiasm, and, I have seen people behave in a way that hurts others emotionally.  Ed Horrell, wrote the book The Kindness Revolution, a book I very much enjoyed reading and found great applicability to the work I do. I have always believed that a fundamental attribute to success was that of kindness, not just in customer service, but in everything, including team relationships.

Horrell suggests that there is often a disconnect between what customers want and what businesses and teams think their customers want in terms of good customer service. How well do you know your customers? If you were to ask them their needs, would the answers surprise you? Horrell states that good customer service starts with people, not process! For many this is a shift in thinking. Many businesses spend their time developing processes and systems to service their clients and customers, but forget the people aspect. These processes and systems are important, in fact I teach people how to do this. But, in doing so, people are the priority. As you review and build your customer service beliefs, practices and expectations, make sure that “the people” are woven in at every level.

Horrell states: “The future is WOW!”  Thinking about his statement, how would others describe your company or team's WOW ability? How do you wow your clients and customers?

Another concept Horrell covered, is that of indifference. In teams that are struggling, it is easy to see indifference. To replace indifference with customer service you must address: dignity, courtesy, respect and kindness. Companies and teams who do this, GET IT!

Traits of companies that GET IT:

- They believe in the company guiding principles (and they actually know what they are)

- They strive to keep these principles front and centre to every aspect of business and customer service

- They believe in the dignity of each employees job, and that everyone plays an important role

- They believe that there is a purpose for the corporation and that they are a part of it

- They recognize the importance of employees being empowered and engaged

- The believe in the importance of and value of kindness


Here are a couple of examples that Horrell offers: LL Bean says that “serving customers is a day in day out, ongoing, never ending, persevering, compassion kind of activity.  Fed Ex employees live the values that are core to the company philosophy: respect (treat each person with dignity and respect), integrity (be worthy of trust), service (serve others), excellence (relentlessly strive to exceed expectations), communication (understand and be understood).



What are your standards? What type of example do you set? How do you set this example (e.g. with your attitudes and actions)? How would customers describe the service they receive from your company?

How does your team exhibit kindness in their interactions with others, and in their service to customers? What are the impacts or spin off results that you see?
To find out more about The Kindness Revolution, click here:

What kind of leader are You? Part Three

Learning about leadership through the teaching of John Maxwell

In the last two posts we covered valuable information from author John Maxwell, a leading expert on leadership.  This post will summarize additional leadership strategies from Maxwell's book The Five Levels of Leadership.  Maxwell talks about how habits often get in the way of communication, business, relationships and ultimately, success. I have seen this first hand in training and team building sessions, teams have habits of communication that are positive but also that get in the way of effective dialogue.  Maxwell suggests that leaders explore their own leadership habits. For example, deciding how you will organize yourself. How you will communicate during challenging times. How you will check for understanding. Determine how to maximize your time. Determining what you will do the moment you arrive to work (e.g. escape to your office, greet staff, etc.), decide how you will treat people, and what your work ethic will be. Essentially, Maxwell says that you will and should choose your leadership path, because, leadership is not what you are- it is WHO you are being!


Growing through the leadership levels: To grown and transform as a leader, Maxwell suggests that leaders must move through each level, and progress to the next.  In level one, leaders can focus more on potential, instead of positions. Pursue their own professional growth, leadership development and training and move from the priority being on rules to the priority being relationships. Maxwell states it is critical that at this level that leaders learn to ask questions, ask for help, say “I don’t know” when they don’t know and to build and maintain contact with others. When leaders can master this, I have seen them create an environment where staff take the risk to ask for help (which is important).
As leaders transform to leadership level two, they will want to focus on relationships, listening, and valuing others. It is important for leaders to learn and practice seeking out other’s strengths and assets and appreciating the unique differences within the team. Leaders must act with integrity, as trust results from integrity. Make sure you are attention, be what Maxwell calls the “chief encourager” and act with care and candor. As a trainer I have seen the benefits of leaders who recognize and appreciate the differences in their team. They facilitate innovative thinking, energy, and respect.

In Level three leaders must focus on authenticity, which means you simply cannot fake your way to this level or through this level because you are either producing/creating results or you are not. People can see right through insincerity, and I have seen that challenge or decrease trust levels.  Lead by example, deliver results, communicate the vision to the team frequently and live the vision. Results are inspiring. Maxwell suggests that as leaders are developing their team they should focus on the following formula and train people in such a way that: 80% is in their strength zone, 15% is in their learning zone, 5% is outside their strength zone, and 0% of the work is in their weakness zone. Often this is the level where leaders get stuck and do not progress and transform to the next two levels. I would say that this level takes a lot of humility, willingness to be uncomfortable at times, and a desire to grow.

In level four, production is not enough; developing people must become a priority. Maxwell suggests you develop individuals, and the team. Some of the leaders I have met are masterful at this. Their commitment to growing the people is evident, and their attitudes and words are focused more on others, than themselves. Grow leaders and champion the corporate vision. Be the team member you want others to be and focus 80% of your time on the top 20% priorities. Solve issues and do so immediately, don’t let them fester and become bigger issues, and of course, be approachable. Another author, Ken Blanchard says “it’s not what happens when you are there, but when you are not there”; this is the real challenge for leaders. Transfer the work, delegate to those who actually execute the work, as this helps create an environment of trust, and ownership. Continue learning, training and developing. one of my corporate clients saw his role, as a seasoned leader, to foster his team stepping into their skills in a much bigger way.

At level five, leaders are empowering team members to grow and lead larger. There is a focus on people’s strengths, and who they could become (not who they are now). Succession planning is essential at this level, as is leaving a legacy! Be humble, maintain the company’s vision, develop leaders and make room for them at the top. Succession planning is so important yet I have met few non-profit organizations who have a plan, and many small business owners that do not take the time to create one because they are too busy being in the business instead of working on it. Succession planning is key... it will help you create systems and processes so that the business can run in your absence and at the same time fosters growth and responsibility in the team.

This week identify ways that you can share the corporate knowledge with others. Consider your legacy...what is the legacy that you want to leave behind in your team or business? And, what can you do to take action today?

John Maxwell is a masterful leader. To read his book, and learn more about the many other leadership programs he offers, check out:

What kind of leader are YOU? Part two.

John Maxwell's Five Levels of Leadership.... tips from a leadership expert

This is part two of the Leadership posting. Last post I shared a summary of John Maxwell's levels of leadership, so clearly defined in his new book The Five Levels of Leadership.  Maxwell offers a few tips for leaders in these different levels. First, is that it is not a given that all leaders will transform through these levels. I have worked in organizations, and have met lots of leaders who are still in a positional leadership level despite having been a leader for 15 years. They have not transformed, nor has their team. They use their position to lead people. You would hear language like “I’m the boss”, or refer to employees as subordinates (not team members). You can like the people that you are leading however; you cannot effectively lead people that you as a leader don’t like. This is an important concept as I have heard many leaders say things like “I don’t have to like people on my team” or “I don’t have to like them, I just have to respect them.” The challenge is for leaders to find something that they like or appreciate about the team members, otherwise it will shine through.

Leaders will be well served to create a good environment and great relationships, and of course, get things done. This ensures that profits go up while turnover and team issues go down. The bonus is that leadership and work becomes more fun and leaders become agents of change because they are making difficult decisions that ultimately create big outcomes. As a corporate trainer and consultant I have seen many leaders shy away from important decisions, because, it may not be a favorable decision. Ultimately this can hurt their credibility, the relationship and the culture of environment of the team. Making these decisions requires some risk taking.

Empowering others, your team, will serve you well as you refine your leadership skills and approach. Empowering others allows leaders opportunity to “reproduce” themselves as they make a high investment in others’ development which also deepens relationships. Essentially as Maxwell explains, leaders change the lives of those they lead!

Maxwell talks about three types of values: ethical values (doing the right thing for the right reasons), relationship values (how to build an atmosphere of trust and respect for others), and success values (deciding on the goals that are worthy of spending your life on). These are great questions to explore as a leader, “am I doing the right thing for the right reasons?”, “how do I build and maintain an atmosphere of trust?”, and “what goals are worthy of me spending my life and time on?” The concept of values is a frequent discussion topic in corporate training and the team building processes I facilitate. And, values are often at the root of many workplace challenges and communication challenges.

This week, what are three actions you can take to empower others, build relationships and create an environment where the team becomes champions for the corporate goals and mission?

To add this book to your leadership training program or corporate library shelves, visit:

What Kind of Leader Are You? Part One.

John Maxwell: The Five Levels of Leadership book
 What a great read this book is! Maxwell says that leadership is a verb, an action, not a position! Leadership also deals with people and the dynamics in the organization, and the challenge of leadership is to create change and facilitate the process of growth, learning and transformation. I really enjoyed reading this book; in fact, I read it cover to cover in one sitting. Then, I went back through again to consider how I could share his strategies with my corporate clients and reference in training programs.

John Maxwell defines the five levels of leadership as follows:

1. Positional Leadership which means that this is an entry level leader who is likely more focused on rights. People follow leaders at this level mainly because they have to.

2. Permission Leadership is the second level and here leaders are focusing on relationships. People follow leaders at this level because they want to.

3. Production Leadership is level three and the focus here is on results. People follow the leader because of what the leader has done or accomplished for the organizing.

4. People Development Leadership is the next level, much more difficult to reach this level. The focus is on people development and reproducing the leader. People follow these leaders because of what he/she has done for the people.

5. Level five, the most difficult and infrequently attained level is called Pinnacle Leadership. This is all about respect. People follow these leaders because of who the leader is the legacy that he/she has created and what you have done for the individuals.

What type of leader are you?  What level of leadership are you at currently?
If you were to take three actions to move you towards the next leadership level, what would those be, and why?

See Maxwell's valuable Leadership Tips in the Next Post.

To learn more about Maxwell’s book or to add this to your corporate reading library, visit:

Book Review: Life is a Contact Sport by Ken Kragen

Life is a Contact Sport was particularly enjoyable to read because I know Ken, in fact, he is my coach. After having seen Ken present at the 2011 eWomenNetwork Convention in Dallas, I knew this man had an incredible degree of knowledge that would serve the world. He has managed some of the world's most memorable entertainers, including Kenny Rogers, Lionel Richie, Trisha Yearwood, Olivia Newton John, The Bee Gees, Burt Reynolds, The Smothers Brothers along with many others. He was the creator and organizer of "We Are the World", "Hands Across America", and Cisco System's "NetAid". Amazingly over 95% of the acts he managed have become stars, and 90% of the projects he created and spearheaded have achieved success (source: Kenkragen.com). Ken’s ability to create an experience, be memorable and work effectively with media is extremely important for businesses, entrepreneurs, speakers and authors to know more about.

What struck me the most in his presentation, and he talks about it in his book, is the Magic of Threes and creating a memorable experience. Right in the middle of Ken’s live presentation when he made this point, the doors to the ballroom burst open and a high school band marched through the doors, trumpets, drums, trombones, the works! You can guarantee when anyone in that room thinks of Ken, his presentation or message; they will not forget that experience.

In Life Is A Contact Sport, Ken talks about a ten point strategy that is key to success. The first being The Event Strategy. The Event Strategy involves holding several events in a short period of time. To simplify this Ken suggests taking a single event, then building other events and opportunities around it.

He also writes about the importance of optimism and enthusiasm and provides numerous examples of where his attitude and enthusiasm has created stronger business relationships, business deals, and event success. I particularly enjoyed Ken’s strategy of backwards thinking for forward motion- that is beginning with the end in mind, starting with the goal. This approach makes sense. When you start with the goal (and ending timelines in mind), you can create the plan and action steps with corresponding timelines. The benefit of this thinking backwards approach is that: a) you ensure that your plan is doable in the timeframe allotted; b) sometimes it is easier to think of the steps that got you to the goal instead of what you need to do to get to the goal. And, here’s the great part- you can figure out the gatekeepers that you need to get a “yes” from to progress further.

In Life Is A Contact Sport, Ken mentions the importance of giving and building relationships. This is critical. Building relationships is an effective form of marketing, but also in helping others achieve their goals and serving your purpose. I recommend this book for speakers, authors and businesses. This book will change how you think about your events, marketing and media strategies. Applying the Magic of Threes will multiply your success and the experience.

About Ken:

Ken is a graduate of Harvard Business School and his diverse career far transcends the music and entertainment. During the past few years, Kragen has devoted an increasing amount of his time to speaking, writing, coaching others as well as consulting work for leading corporations and many non-profit organizations. Ken Kragen has also produced a variety of film and television projects, ranging from the ground-breaking "Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour" on CBS to Kenny Rogers' "Gambler" movies, and numerous series, mini-series and films. Most recently, Kragen produced the "12 Dogs of Christmas" live action, full length feature film based on his daughter, Emma's, best-selling children's book. (www.12DogsofChristmas.com).

To find out more about Ken and to read Life Is a Contact Sport, visit:

Charmaine and Ken Kragen in Dallas at eWomenNetwork Convention July 2011

Think Back to Move Forward

Do you remember, as a child, going into a restaurant that had the placemats with activities on them?  The mazes always seemed so hard to find your way out of.  Unless, you started at the finish and worked backwards toward the start.  For some reason that made it easier to figure out.  Sometimes the plan begins with the end too.
Far too often teams and individuals begin the planning process not having the end in mind.  A plan begins with a clear objective.  Think of it this way...what's the end result, the desired outcome you would like to see?  Then, work backwards.
Ken Kragen, the Creator of "We Are The World", and "Hands Across America", is also my business coach.  He wrote a phenomenal book titled Life is a Contact Sport.  In his book he talks about the power of thinking backwards from your goal to create the road map to follow.  This process helps you pinpoint every step, necessary action and person you need to connect with.  Ken also says it will help you in figuring out who the gatekeepers are; the people you need to get a "yes" from.  He also stresses the importance of really understanding the goal before you begin generating solutions.
I have utilized this process in many of the strategic planning and team building processes I have facilitated for my corporate clients.  The process of working backwards has been especially useful in identifying the time required for specific tasks and then setting deadlines and time lines from there.
Based on Ken's teaching, ask yourself or your team these questions in your next planning process:

• What is the desired outcome (or, what is the end result we envision?  What problem are we solving?)
• Before we get there, what do we need to happen?
• What permissions are required?
• Who do we need to connect with to get the permission?
• What gatekeepers do we need to speak with in order to get the permission?
• Continue to repeat process until the plan is formed.

Begin with the end to get to the finish faster!

The Power of Appreciation and Gratitude

As I was on the internet I found this beautiful short statement that is packed full of meaning.  These simple sentences say a lot:
Thanks to those who loved me, You made my heart grow fonder.  Thanks to those who cared, You made me feel important.  Thanks to those who entered into my life, You made me who I am today.  Thanks to those who left, You showed me that nothing lasts forever.  Thanks to those who stayed, You showed me true friendship.  Thanks to those who listened, You made me feel like I was worth it.~Author Unknown
This statement reminds us of the power of appreciation and gratitude.  Everyone faces challenges, disappointments, and loss.  However, the way in which we perceive and cope is so defining.  When we see the opportunity, the learnings, and blessings wrapped inside the difficulty, we are more apt to cope and move forward.  As we are half way through the first month of the year, it is a great time to reflect upon the people who have made a difference in your life, impacted your life, there are many ways in which you impact others around you.  Your family, community and workplace are all areas of your life where you have influence with other people.
How do you want others to remember you?  What is it you hope others say about you in your absence?  In what ways do your actions support your intended results?
Who could you show Appreciation and Gratitude to today?

Quiet the Mind, Open the Heart

How fun to have my photo beside Lindsay Wagner! I was the opening guest on a radio show we both presented on. I must say...it was awfully fun to be side by side, even though it was virtually, with the bionic woman, a show that I watched faithfully in my pre-teens years ago.

The bionic woman, Jamie Sommers, reminds us of the importance of listening. While on the show, Lindsay Wagner's character had amplified hearing in her right ear. We can be reminded of the importance of listening. I mean really listening. Another lesson is that of discerning what information is to be shared, and what is not. Often on the show Jamie would receive a message that said Top Secret...This information is classified. I find far too often information that should not be shared or divulged is communicated, and this can break trust, and certainly create other challenges in the workplace. Listening and knowing how to effectively manage the information we glean from listening is a critical skill in building and maintaining relationships.

Is there a relationship, work or personal, that you need to practice better listening with? Do something about it today! Make it a point to focus during conversations with that person and really listen to what they say. Set it as a goal to play a part in enhancing that relationship by by coming into the conversation prepared to be present!

Approaching the Finish Line

I have had the opportunity to hear speaker and NYT Bestselling Author Lisa Nichols tell her incredible story of never giving up. Over the years I have heard stories from clients who confessed to giving up just as they almost reached their goal. I have also talked to colleagues who were Olympians and learned what helped them persevere to the finish line and win! Those who reached the finish line told me they believed they could win! They believed that their training, skill, stamina and coaching would take them there. My clients who fessed up to giving up too soon stated that they didn't believe they could reach their goal, or their disbelief shadowed their hope. Believing in your goal, yourself and ability to reach your goal is critical to your success. I have always loved the poem by Edgar A. Guest titled "Don't Quit". I hope this brings you inspiration and a renewed belief in the importance of your goals and your ability to reach them.

Don't Quit

by Edgar A. Guest

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit -

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with it s twists and turns.

As everyone of us sometimes learns.

And may a fellow turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow -

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man;

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And when you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it sees afar'

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -

It's when things seem worst, you must not quit.

Have a great day everyone!

Terms of Movement

Recently I was watching television and caught the tail end of a powerful statement. I wish I knew who to credit for his/her brilliance. The statement was "Settle the past. Engage the present and believe in the future."

WOW. What an insight. I flew out of my chair to find a pen. Throughout the evening I found myself reflecting on this statement and the power of the words which moved me to action. To bounce forward, that is to be resilient, you must be able to settle the past, be engaged in the present and have belief in the future. That doesn't however mean this is a simple task.

For many years in an earlier career I was a Correctional Officer, (yup, that's right! A Correctional Officer), and I remember thinking how many inmates, even some staff, were plagued by their past, struggling in their present and had no belief in their future. Years later as a mediator, I often mediated situations of family conflict, and the past always came up. Instead of being engaged in the present, many still had both fee in the past. Because of this, it was difficult for them to believe in the future. As a former mediator in workplace situations I saw this same challenge, people championing the problems of the past causing them to disengage and not be present.

Here are some simple tips to Settle the Past:

• Listen to your story. Everyone has stories of the past that come up in conversation. When you tell the story, are you "detached" from it, or do you find yourself with both feet back in the moment? A good way to tell is your emotional state when you tell the story. And, pay attention to these stories that run through your thoughts. The great news is that you can change your story.
• Decide to forgive. Look at the situations, disappointments and unresolved issues that are weighing up down. You may not be able to fix or resolve the past, it has already happened, but, you can forgive or resolve for the future. And, forgive yourself for mistakes you have made that you continue to self blame.
• Give up blaming. Blaming seems to increase the emotional state and can certainly damage relationships. Look at what is within your control to fix and what is not, and put your attention and action on what you can control.
• Reframe and change your language. Instead of saying "I regret not making things right with my supervisor" say "I look forward to righting situations and conflicts if they arise".

As you head into the weekend take some time to reflect on the "past" areas of your life. Put aside some time to work through listening, forgiving and not blaming. It will change your perspective and, come Monday morning, it could start changing your workplace as well.

Have a great weekend everyone!

The Power of ONE

Have you ever found that it can be a challenge to focus on just one thing...no distractions...no interruptions of thought, just focus on one thing? It can be difficult, especially in our busy and quickly changing world. One step towards your goal, better health, improved relationships, resilience or communication is far better than no step at all. The power of one could include ONE:

• Idea
• Question
• ASK
• Action
• Person
• Success
• Word
• Opportunity

Never underesitmate that ONE can make a BIG difference.

Imagine you are on, or lead, a team of twenty members. What would it be like if each person came into work tomorrow simply focusing on the concept of one...one action that would make a difference. One act of encouragement that would inspire others. One degree of extra effort to communicate effectively. On e act of kindness that would create a chain reaction of kindness. One action towards a specific project. One phone call that markets and promotes the business. The results would be significant.

And, what if tomorrow, each person took one specific step towards a company goal. The result would be twenty actions towards the company meeting that goal. In reality that could be more intentional steps toward success and corporate goals than the team had taken in a month!

Think what that ONE step each day could mean for 2012. You have a whole brand new year ahead of you and it just takes ONE step at a time to make it great! As you begin your day, focus on the ONE act that will make the difference, and see what happens.

No Additives Here!

Recently we enjoyed a cup of coffee on the beach in California. The beach was busy with people basking in the sun , riding the waves and catching up on conversations while lounging in their beach chairs. As my husband and I sipped our coffee and enjoyed the view of the surf, I began to notice how many times these word were being used in different conversations around us: "yah...uh...no" and "But...ya...". The frequency of the use of these words seemed to detract from the conversations. It drew my attention and I noticed something interesting. The more frequent these words, the more it seemed the listener disengaged from the dialogue. While I am not saying that these filler words cause people to check out of conversations, it did provide me with an opportunity to consider what might work instead. Often my clients in communication and conflict resolution workshops tell me that:

1. Silence is uncomfortable so they just keep talking (although sometimes they say things they regret later, or are not clearly thought out for the listener)
2. Sometimes in conversations the brain doesn't work as fast as the mouth so extra and unnecessary words get tossed into the dialogue.
3. When a conversation is stressful or defensive, filler words give your brain a chance to try and find the words to say next

This moment on the beach was a great opportunity for self reflection, right there, in the moment. I asked myself how many times in conversations do I replace silence with filler words? When I have been uncomfortable in a dialogue, how do I manage the discomfort without impacting the conversation or changing the context of the discussions?

Next time you are in an awkward or uncomfortable silence, listen carefully to the words you speak. Are they clear? Do filler words creep in to mask your discomfort or create an appearance of informality? Are people checking out or zoning out of the dialogue too early?

Here are three tips for speaking with clarity and confidence in your next uncomfortable conversation:

1. Think in advance about your message...that is what you want to say. Take this one step further and practice saying your messages out loud. Listen carefully to the words that actually are spoken as sometimes what one thinks and what one says are not at all the same.
2. Imagine yourself on the receiving end of what you are about to say or are saying. How does it land? How clear is it? What's the defensiveness level? If you don't like how it is sounding, simply change it up or reframe what you are about to say.
3. Instead of filler words, take a breath or a pause. Trying counting to five in your head before responding or moving on to your next point in the conversation. Rushing doesn't exude confidence and we sometimes get lost in our thoughts so the message is stated in a disjointed or confusing manner. Breathing is a great way to improve conversation - and the good news is, you are doing it already, just be more conscious and mindful of breathing and slowing down in stressful conversations.

Remember, just like in food, additives in conversations can to be harmful to include!

Have a great day everyone! Chat with you again on Wednesday when I blog about "The Power of ONE".