Whoops- I so didn’t mean to say that!

How many times have you heard someone say “Whoops! I didn’t mean to say that!” or “Geesh, that didn’t come out the way I wanted. My bad!” or something along these lines.

As a speaker and an attendee of many tradeshows, events and meetings, you would not believe what I hear people say.  At a book event, I heard an exhibitor say “I only got an hour sleep as I was out partying all night- hope I don't wreak of alcohol” and another exhibitor at a conference who said “obviously they don’t know how to plan an event, no one is coming to my booth!” (saying this to a lady passing by who was helping the event organizer, which she found out later). YIKES!

When you are representing your business, your brand, or product, you must discern between what a conversation is for close friends you trust (and not in front of customers or event attendees) and what is for public consumption, and what is sometimes just better left unsaid or to yourself.  Your words leave lasting imprints in people's minds about your credibility, professionalism, and most importantly, how you do business!

After facilitating hundreds of dialogues between individuals through mediation and facilitation processes, I have watched people over and over again speak first, and think later. I have witnessed the judgments that get made and how words can hurt others, or your business. I love this quote by Earl Wilson…”If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.” As well, sarcasm is not always understood (or appreciated), be careful when and with whom you chose sarcasm. This is great advice for communicating, especially at events. The reality is – what you say often gets back to others.

Here are three tips to careful and mindful communication:

- Think before speaking (consider “is this comment appropriate for this particular person?”,

- Am I prepared to “back my words” if I needed to in future?

- Would I be comfortable putting what I am about to say in writing? If not, you may want to rephrase.

Bonus tip... ask yourself "why am I sharing this with the other person?"

Communication doesn't have to be perfect, but it does need to be mindful, otherwise you find yourself in lots of re-do situations.  And the re-do is always more uncomfortable than the first time around. Each communication is an opportunity to learn and refine your message.

What’s Your Leadership GPS?

At a recent Alberta Women Entrepreneurs Conference (AWE) I was speaking on the topic of Leadership GPS. My presentation included three distinct topics: understanding your strengths, knowing your leadership style, and getting out of your way (and capitalizing on your strengths).

In this workshop I defined Leadership GPS as Goals, Plans of Action and Success Indicators.

Some of the qualities in exceptional leaders include:

• Knowing your strengths and how to use them to help grow your business and advance your team
• Understanding that one’s strengths can become a deficit or challenge if you are not mindful and present
• Confident, clear communicators
• Have empathy
• Are able to say no, can make decisions and stand by them
• Strong leaders can forgive themselves and move forward, they are resilient
• They decide in advance (intentionally) how they want to show up in the world and as a leader (I call this framing your day)
• When the day goes off track, strong leaders are able to reframe their day and move forward
• They know their leadership style and adapt it to work more effectively with other
• They can ASK for help

Some of the many questions that came up in the round table discussions following the presentation were about a) giving up some “control”, b) work life balance, c) difficult conversations, d) building a team. In the coming blogs, I’ll focus on the answers to these questions.
When you think of a strong leader, what are the qualities that come to mind for you?