In your next conversation, pay attention to the I AMs that you say before the dialogue. For example, in a presentation I was leading, one participant talked about a conversation she was dreading, in fact she was hoping a migraine headache would come on to get her out of the conversation. She chose words like “Oh, I am dreading this phone call!”, “I AM so nervous- The last time I had to address conflict I bombed.”, “I am not ready for this.” Imagine how her I AMs will impact the words she says, and the manner in which the words come out. After applying the strategies I was modeling in this presentation, she said “I am looking forward to the conversation- it is a chance to put this issue to rest. I Am prepared and skilled. I am looking forward to sharing my perspective with her.” Now imagine the impact of the reframed I AMs.
|When your I AMs are not helpful, you can toss them out and reframe and replace them with more affirming
and useful I AMS. Your I AMs impact your results! Choose them wiesely.
As you prepare for your next conversation, pay attention to the I AMs that are in your mind…they affect everything, including your results.