The Business of Forgiveness...

“I am SO sorry.” “I can’t believe I forgot, so sorry!” “Didn’t mean to let you down.” “It will never happen again.” “My bad.”  “So sorry to be late, traffic was awful, car wouldn’t start, got here no parking! What a start to the day.”  How many times have you said this or heard these statements? A simple, clear and clean apology without all the  drama is the better way of asking for forgiveness and owning a mistake in the workplace. It sounds like this “Please forgive me for being late,” said Shawne Duperon, media expert and creator of Project Forgive (www.projectforgive.com).

I had the pleasure of interviewing Shawne Duperon, and Deborah Welch, an expert and author on the topic of forgiveness in the workplace.  Deborah so eloquently described forgiveness as the process of moving through grief, instead of suffering, blaming oneself or others.  Forgiveness results in freedom.

Deborah talked with such passion about the importance of stories; in fact, she has been collecting stories of forgiveness for almost three decades.  Stories are a powerful form of communication and trust building.  She shared her story, one that involved a traumatic loss. She explained that the journey for forgiveness, forgiving self or others, is different for each person.  Through her journey to forgive herself, the puzzle pieces began to fit together, and in letting go and forgiving, life opened up.

The benefits to a workplace culture that embraces forgiveness are many, but at the top of the list are:

• -          Improved relationships
• -          Increased trust
• -          Reduced stress, guilt, suffering and pain
• -          Greater sense of synergy
• -          Safety to learn and grow

Deborah and Shawne offered a variety of tips to foster a culture of forgiveness at work, these are my personal favorites:

-          Start the conversation. Create a culture whereby vulnerable conversations can take place, where team members and leaders can talk about their mistakes, and grow through them. 

-          Silence the unhelpful, negative and self defeating chatter in our minds.

-          Use clean and clear statements of apology (or drama free statements)

-          Breathe, take time to process the situation before reacting on an emotional level

Children get the concept of forgiveness, to them it is simple, or as Shawne would say, it is clean.  Take five minutes to watch this video; you’ll see what I mean.  www.projectforgive.com

To find out more about Deborah Welch, and her phenomenal book  FORGIVENESS AT WORK: Stories of the Power, Possibility, and Practice of Forgiveness in the Workplace , visit:

http://www.reflective-leadership.com/about.htm

And you can learn more about Shawne at www.shawnetv.com

Forgiveness at work….it’s for giving!

Sometimes people are tougher on themselves, than on anyone else.  This was part of the conversation I had with Marilyn Suttle and Shawne Duperon on my Conversations with Charmaine Radio Show. They both asked the question “how long before you forgive yourself?”

What a great question. In workplaces as a consultant and trainer I see it all the time. Someone hasn’t forgiven themselves for a mistake they made, it affects relationships and stops the person from moving forward. It can also stop the team from fast tracking to success. Another common example is someone made a mistake ten years ago….it still comes up frequently at staff meetings, when new ideas are posed or when something goes wrong.  The struggle to Let It Go can impact the ability to forgive, self and others.

My friend and media coach Shawne Duperon, six time Emmy Award winner is leading a movement that I believe will change the world, workplaces and communities for sure!  The initiative is called Project Forgive.  Here’s what the website says:  “Life happens. We lose our jobs, we face bankruptcy and foreclosure. Some of us are dealing with a divorce, others of us are facing life threatening illnesses such as cancer. Culturally, we see deep political fighting, immigration issues, war, despair and violence. In the face of all this, how can we find the courage to forgive and cause a new realm of possibility, a new conversation?”

This is a question for reflection. How can employees in teams find the courage to forgive their colleagues so the team can move towards their goals, better relationships, success?  What do you need to forgive yourself for to move forward?

Here are three tips to forgiveness that I learned a long time ago when I worked as a Correctional Officer (half a life time ago and these tips still help).

1.    Accept that we all make mistakes. Treat mistakes like a learning opportunity.

2.    Review and Learn. Ask yourself: What went well?  What was a challenge? What did I learn? And, what will I do differently?  This will help you move from blame to change.

3.    Start the conversation. If you make a mistake, own it, accept with grace and dignity, and move forward. As you move forward, so can others.

4.    And remember….Forgiveness is For Giving!

Be a part of the Project Forgive…. Back the movie…. Share your story….. share the project with friends…. Project Forgive is For Giving.

www.projectforgive.com

 Listen to the incredible Shawne Duperon and Marilyn Suttle here:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/charmainehammond/2012/02/22/guests-marilyn-suttle-and-shawne-duperon