Monday, November 19, 2012

Communication: the good, the bad and the ugly

Conflict isn't a bad thing... it's how people to choose to deal with it that makes it a challenging or comfortable conversation to deal with.

I have mediated, and facilitated hundreds and hundreds of conversations between people and teams in conflict. It doesn't seem to matter what industry we are talking about....the top 7 conversations that are mostly avoided, according to my clients are (these are not in any particular order):

1. Saying NO

2. Closing the sale

3. Handling objections or being questioned in front of others

4. Delivering bad news

5. Providing corrective or constructive feedback

6. Conflict based conversations

7. Sensitive issues

What makes these conversations so uncomfortable? The list is long but often it comes down to fear
and power struggles.

Fear: of hurting someone’s feelings, fear of the unknown, fear of the problem getting worse, fear of emotions (yours and the other person’s) to name a few

Lack of preparation: people go into these conversations unprepared. This does not build confidence or credibility.

Judgment and Assumptions: judgments and assumptions quickly take a conversation down an uncomfortable path as people try to redeem themselves, or maintain their integrity and save face.

What can you do when you find yourself in one of these dialogues?

• Prepare

• Don’t jump ahead or to conclusions in the conversation

• Handle yourself with ease, grace and dignity

• Remember to breathe, especially if the anxiety or emotional level is high

• Slow down your conversation a bit

• Ask questions

• Be committed to a resolution

• Set a time to follow up and check in

These were some of the many tips I provided on a Tele Seminar about Courageous Dialogue and Conscious Communication, I was interviewed by Jenn August on the Wealthy Warrior Mindset series. You can access these free recordings by registering at:
To access your free Courageous Dialogue ebook ( a gift from me to you) go to:

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please leave me a comment.