Tuesday, August 9, 2011
What does it mean to Bounce Forward ™
To understand the concept of bouncing forward, it is important to recognize that life offers many opportunities or moments to learn and grow. My new book, Bounce Forward, begins this way:
Life really is full of moments…moments that define you, moments that challenge you, moments that stretch you, and moments that make you grow. What we do in these moments really counts. What we don’t do in these moments also counts. Any action, including no action, sets the stage for what comes next.
In essence, to bounce forward™ is to stand up, brush your knees off, and move forward when life’s moments cause you to stumble or fall. It is more than simply recovering or returning to the original state, which is how resilience is usually defined.
You can probably list numerous situations that you would never want to return to or simply recover from. Recovering doesn't mean we are any better off. Bouncing forward does!
In my first career I was a correctional officer ---I know, those of you who know me are probably scratching your head trying to picture me, 4 foot 11 (and ¾) tall as a Correctional Officer but it’s true. It didn’t take me long to see one similarity with many of the inmates. Many of them were stuck- stuck in relationships that were going nowhere, stuck in a criminal way of life, stuck in a conflict from ten years ago, stuck in a past trauma, you get the picture. They were surviving but moving forward after life’s challenges. They were not bouncing forward.
I saw this same dynamic play out in my role as a mediator. To become unstuck, we must bounce forward.
Here are five ways to know if you are bouncing forward:
- You are optimistic, you can see opportunity, a new future in a challenging situation
- You do not talk about the past as if it is your present
- You are able to forgive
- You are able to “let it go”
- You do not hold grudges
To read more about this topic, follow the blog, or you can order a copy of Bounce Forward (the book or the soon to be available audio book) by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org for your signed copy.