Sometimes it is not the people who get in our way that is our barrier, it is us getting in our own way of success. Consulting and facilitating with hundreds of workplaces and teams over the past few years, I have seen this time and time again…people getting in their own way…and sometimes blaming others. One example of getting in our own way is following the negative thoughts and beliefs we have instead of dealing with them, or changing them.
Manage the Inner Critic:
It’s no secret… we all talk to yourself, mainly through the chatter that goes on in our heads. Often the inner chatter is like a movie playing over and over again, mostly without our awareness that it is even switched on. Sometimes it may feel more like a dialogue that is happening in your mind. Once we become aware of our thoughts, it is easier to turn them off.
Inner chatter sounds like this:
“I am not good at that”
“I’m not good enough”
“I know I can’t do that, so why try”
“I’m not smart enough”
These statements and self limiting beliefs that play over in our mind diminish our confidence, and our esteem. These beliefs and thoughts stop us from achieving, discourage us from taking risks, and create detours and distractions from our goals.
Replace the Thoughts- do the turn around
Replace the negative thoughts and chatter with supportive and empowering thoughts. Instead of “I’m not good enough, replace it with “I am good enough” or “I am skilled at this” or “I can and will do this.”.
Once you become aware of the thoughts, you are better able to reflect upon what is triggering the thoughts, and then of course deal with that. Also when you are aware of the thoughts you can easily do the turn around, change the thought from negative to empowering.
If you are in conversation with someone and you find your mind wandering to negative thoughts or beliefs about that person, try doing the turn around and see how it can positively impact the outcome of your dialogue.